My name is Matthew Douglas, I am 29 years old and I'm from New Port Richey, FL. I lived the last 10 years of my life in total rebellion to God. I was never raised in church and I couldn’t understand a God that would let suffering take place. My mom worked full time and was often too busy to raise up four children the way they should go. She met who would be my step dad at 6 years old. He did not know how to be a father and would spend much of his time drinking and being verbally abusive. I had the mindset that I was a disappointment and my life reflected that. At 16 I dropped out of school and never looked back. By this time, I was already drinking and smoking marijuana. I had my first child at 21 and didn't know how to be a father to her as I was going in and out of jail. At 25 my mother committed suicide and that turned my whole world upside-down. I used every drug imaginable to ease the pain. Nothing worked. I decided to kill myself and slit both my wrists. I woke up in the ICU after being on life support. I just couldn’t take the death of my mother and the failure as a father in those times. I started seeking the answers to what life is truly about and I found the answer in Jesus Christ. After finding Him I still had no root in him and ended up going to prison, but once I got out, I knew I needed to change or I would end up right back. When I got out of prison I started working and began slipping again. I knew I needed to chase after Jesus so I came to Loving Hands on 1-22-22.